random(thoughts)

I started out the year fully intending on finding some quiet time once or twice a week to sit down and write a few entries. Just minor stuff, links I found interesting… social commentary… the usual rubbish. Looking at the archives, I managed alright until the end of March.

That is when we went on vacation. We had good time, but when I got back to work. Whoa… strap on the seat belt and hang on. April began with me leaving for San Antonio over the Easter weekend and Katie going to Vegas with a couple of her friends. She had a good time. I was working and it was extremely humid and raining in San Antonio. When Katie got back she complained about how crappy she felt when she was in Vegas… she took a pregnancy test and… we found out that we are going to be parents!

(more…)

Since December 27th life has been topsy-turvy.

That was the day that Katie and I found out that we lost our baby. Technically, they call it a miscarriage because the baby died before the 20th week. The whole adventure started when we went in for a routing ultrasound on Wednesday, December 27. The major trauma ended at noon on Friday when I brought Katie home from the hospital.

The problem is, you don’t recover from this type of loss quickly. Or as it turns our easily. Neither Katie nor I are crying at the drop of a pin. We’ve finished with that, but our emotions are still quick to rise. Right now, they surface as anger, fear and other feelings.

Today, Katie and I got into a little spat. I could feel the emotion well up inside of me, and I didn’t want it to come out directed in anger at Katie. We got through it okay, we manage to work through our problems. I just want to avoid lashing out at Katie while we continue to work through the emotions that we are feeling with our loss.

My first week back to work was tough. It was difficult to maintain focus and the few days I missed made a significant impact to my workload. That coupled with the fact that it was a short week really threw me. Katie’s birthday was on the 5th, and she shares the day with her Mom. We went to Disneyland on Saturday. Vanessa got us in to Club 33 and the eight of us (Katie and me, Mom, Ben and Vanessa, Ron and Ginger, and Carolyn). Lunch was awesome. The rest of the day was very fun and very tiring. Katie and I ended up sleeping most of Sunday.

The second week back was much easier - I managed to get caught up with most of my work. I won’t get into details, especially since I make it a policy to not write about work directly, but I worked a few fairly long days last week. The pace at work is unreal, and doesn’t show any hint of slowing done. Really, it works for me. I’m an addictive personality and work is an addiction… in reality I like the pace.

Anyways, back to the world becoming unglued… it definitely feels like it is coming unglued. Not exactly sure why I feel that way, but I think things will be clearer (maybe better) over time…

Tomorrow night is New Year’s Eve… this year is coming to an end and I am glad to see it go. Next year we can all start anew.

I’d like to send my love to all my family and friends. They are a constant blessing to Katie and me. I wish everyone the best, and thank them for all their love and support.

-Josh

I just wanted to drop a post to say “Happy Thanksgiving” to everyone. I hope everyone enjoyed an awesome day with family.

Kate and I hosted the Thanksgiving dinner for my mom, Katie’s parents - Ron and Ginger, my brother Ben and his fiancé Vanessa, and Vanessa’s parents - Gerry and Bobbie. I made the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy. Katie made pumpkin pies. Ginger, Katie’s mom, made a squash puff pastry and Bobbie & Gerry brought some great olives and cranberry relish.

This year, I felt that we all had a lot to be thankful for. I’ve been at my job for a year now - a quick and hectic year, but a rewarding one. Katie and I found out that we are going to be parents two weeks ago - something we thought to be a long shot considering Katie’s recent health problems. Vanessa is coming up on the end of her first year at the law firm that she works for. Katie’s sister Annie and her husband, Pat, are moving to Missouri next year for Pat’s new job (way to go Pat). Mom is working on getting her house fixed up.

I hope everyone can find as much a possible to be thankful for in the last year, I know it has been a special one for my family.

No, I’m not about to start singing a song… I found out on Friday that I’m going to be a father in May!

w00t! w00t! w00t!!!

Click the thumbnail below to see the ultrasound:
[fa:p:a=its-a-baby,id=294915130,j=l,s=sq,l=p]